sc0urge: (angst)
Envy died last night. I knew he was dying. Last night I carried him to my parents' bedroom, where we all made a fuss of him, and stroked the fur on his head, remarked how he'd lost weight and fur, and gave him kisses on the nose.

I went into my room and lay in bed with him sitting on my chest, light as a feather and frail as dust. I couldn't feel the energy coming off him, like I could before. His paws were cold and stiff. I considered staying up all night like that, holding him, so that I could be there when he died, be with him to the last. After a while, close to midnight, I put him back in his cage. He curled up under his little cotton blanket, and, from my bed, I sang him a lullabye. Just before I drifted off to sleep, I told him that I loved him and was glad I got to have him as a pet.

When I woke up, I lifted his blanket and found him still. He had gone into rigor mortis already, so he must have died not long after I went to sleep. I took him downstairs, and he had one final fuss made of him, with more nose-kisses and head-strokings. Then we put him in a little tea box, and in just a little bit, he'll be buried next to Sloth.

And they can be together again, be it in a flower or an insect, or a tree. Or maybe there's a mouse afterlife, and the two of them are shredding newspaper and taking naps together as I write this.

(My maternal grandmother also died a few weeks back, but she was not under my care, and as such I feel no sense of guilt or loss over her. Besides, she was old as the hills and kind of scary. Because that's totally a reasonable justification for not caring.)

And a blogthing:
Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive.

Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.


(BTW, look up Hitsuji no Uta on YouTube. It's a four-part anime adaptation of the messed up vampire manga!)

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November 2013

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